A Lewd Sketch Artist in a Gender-Reversed World - Chapter 33
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A Lewd Sketch Artist in a Gender-Reversed World
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Chapter 33 Inner Thoughts
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[hala: Why not?]
As soon as I sent the reply to the other person.
"Damn it."
Suddenly, an inexplicable anger began to rise. It was like a small ember in my heart suddenly igniting...
Actually, it was a familiar anger.
It was the lingering bitterness left by Eunbyeol when she ran away last time, reigniting the flames once again.
It was clearly a situation where we could have had a good time if we had just continued!
Whenever I thought about it, a small irritation welled up. It felt like I had missed out on a piece of rice cake right in front of me.
Of course, thanks to that, I was able to discover a new attraction like Seong Ahrin.
But still, the sense of injustice remained.
"If you can't explain properly..."
In the quiet room at dawn, I muttered to myself.
If she spouted nonsense like 'I didn't like the way you looked,' or 'I just didn't want to do it,' I was ready to find Eunbyeol immediately and give her a spanking out of anger.
So, I asked. First, the assumption that seemed least likely.
[hala: Didn't like the way he looked?]
Of course, I didn't think my face was unattractive.
Rather, I had been told I was handsome.
It was a bit absurd to say this myself, but this wasn't an arrogant self-evaluation.
The gazes of people passing by on the street, the reaction Ahrin showed yesterday, all proved it.
Thus, I could objectively say that my face was at least above average.
But as I said before, impressions are always subjective.
To some, heavenly music might sound like mere noise to others. People's appearances were no different.
So, I thought of that possibility and asked her.
[SpoiledMe: No, no, that's absolutely not it.]
Judging by her vehement denial, it seemed that wasn't the case.
[SpoiledMe: Rather, his face is quite handsome. Honestly, at first glance, he look really prickly, but once you get to know him, his personality is quite gentle. It actually suits my taste well.]
Reading that reply, I admired it for a moment.
"Hmm."
So that's how she saw me. This is quite flattering, like being praised unexpectedly. Still, it felt good.
For a moment, the corners of my mouth automatically lifted.
The phrase 'you look really prickly' caught my eye, but well, that's something I've always heard, so I just let it pass.
'Does my face really look that prickly...'
It was really unfair to me.
But at least I knew it wasn't because of my looks.
I asked again.
[hala: Then why?]
This was the third time I asked 'why.' At this point, even impatient people would be frustrated.
Fortunately, it seemed 'SpoiledMe' didn't intend to drag it out any longer and began to speak.
As if revealing a secret hidden inside, very carefully.
[SpoiledMe: That...]
[hala: That?]
[SpoiledMe: I was afraid I might make a mistake while having sex...]
[hala: ?]
What nonsense.
[hala: What nonsense is this?]
Oh no.
The words I was only supposed to say inside came out in the chat.
But it was unavoidable.
I really didn't understand what she was talking about at all.
It seemed like she was revealing some secret from her heart, but that secret was as small as an ant's butt.
What kind of mistake could you make while having sex.
Not finding the hole and panicking? Not doing foreplay properly so the intersection is stiff?
Various mistakes came to mind, but those were all based on my standards.
What kind of mistake could she make based on her standards? I couldn't think of anything.
Even after racking my brain and thinking of a few mistakes... what came out of her mouth was a completely different kind of story.
[SpoiledMe: That... Do you know what genre I like?]
[hala: ? Yes, I know.]
For a moment, I thought what she was talking about, but I nodded anyway.
Instead of simply saying 'sexual preference,' she was beating around the bush.
It seemed she was too embarrassed to openly reveal her preferences.
Well, who could say, 'I like being hit and tormented!' proudly.
[SpoiledMe: I have quite a strong sexual desire and my preferences are quite firm... So if we have sex normally, I feel like I won't be satisfied... So I was worried that I might ask my partner for something...]
[hala: Ask to be tormented?]
[SpoiledMe: ...Yes.]
So... she avoided sex because she was worried she might make unreasonable demands on her partner? She was worried her preferences might come out without her realizing it?
What nonsense is it to not be satisfied with normal sex.
For a moment, a heroine from a certain adult comic came to mind. She left, shouting 'Injeolson' (I've lost half my life) into the air.
I remember it was a quite hard comic...
"Ugh!"
Suddenly, a headache came over me.
"Get out of my head!"
I shouted, holding my head.
Something harmful was entering my mind.
Hmm, it seemed I had read too many adult comics.
Just typing related words made my head react like Pavlov's dog.
I needed to cut down. Ah, now that I think about it, the world has changed and I can't see those comics anymore.
Damn it.
Anyway, while I was thinking such thoughts, the other person continued.
[SpoileMe: Anyway, I ran away for that reason
ã… ã… ]
In the end, she ran away because she was afraid her preferences would be revealed.
But I still didn't understand. Why not just be honest about her preferences?
[hala: Can't you just be honest and talk about it? The other person might understand.]
[SpoileMe: No!]
[hala: Why not?]
[SpoiledMe: It's embarrassing. What if the other person doesn't understand? It would be awkward between us. And what if rumors spread!]
"...This is really troublesome."
Looking at the chat window, I pressed my temples with both hands. Is this really Eunbyeol ?
Where was the sociable woman, now there was just a coward in front of me.
Well, there was a possibility that the other person's preferences wouldn't match.
I could accept it, but others might not.
But that was the end of it. There were hardly any people who would spread rumors about it.
Had she been badly hurt before? Suddenly curious, I asked her.
[hala: Did you ever run into some weird guy before? Like, did that become a trauma...]
[SpoileMe: No, nothing like that. I've never even been with another man. This was my first time trying to have sex.]
"Oh."
This time, I admired it for a moment.
A virgin, huh. Well, being a virgin is important.
It was a bit unexpected.
Given her sociability, especially in this world as a 'woman,' I thought she would be full of thoughts about seducing men. My favorability towards Eunbyul Lee slightly increased in my heart.
But still, it was frustrating.
Why was she being so cautious?
As I was thinking that, the other person spoke again.
[SpoiledMe: That... my family is quite patriarchal. Women must always be strong. They must always be confident. I grew up hearing such things often...]
What does patriarchal mean... is it a version of patriarchy in this world?
I was momentarily confused by the unfamiliar word, but I quickly understood.
It was a plausible story.
Well, these days, with all the talk of gender equality, such things have decreased a lot. But that doesn't mean those notions have completely disappeared.
Someone might have been indoctrinated with gender roles from a young age.
And in this world, 'women' take on the role of knights.
[SpoileMe: So, I was hesitant to reveal it. Honestly, women with M tendencies don't seem very reliable. They don't seem confident or strong...]
Something sticky was oozing out of the text.
[SpoiledMe: Honestly, I didn't want to have such preferences...]
The last reply I read seemed to contain some emotion.
As if confessing her grievances. As if not admitting her pessimistic side.
A negative emotion was felt beyond the text, as if it were seeping through.
After reading that, I nodded.
'I see.'
So that's your inner thought. That was the secret she had kept inside her.
Women with that tendency are somehow unreliable. Not confident or strong.
In other words, not 'womanly' enough.
That's what she had been thinking.
It was a secret I couldn't relate to, but I could understand.
Therefore, she had been suppressing her desires and keeping them hidden in her heart.
[SpoileMe: ...But talking about it like this makes me feel better.]
The place where she reveals her desires is only inside the internet.
Here, you can't see the other person's face, voice, or anything else.
Because everyone has a very thick wall, paradoxically, you can comfortably bring up the story deep in your heart.
That was the internet.
That's why I was able to confirm her secret like this.
[hala: I see.]
There was a moment of silence.
After checking all the chats, I just nodded without sending any more replies.
I needed to think for a moment.
The person who was suppressing her desires in her room, 'SpoileMe,' was actually Eunbyul Lee. Honestly, even now, the two didn't match well.
The gap between her in reality and her on the internet was that big.
How should I treat her from now on? The question floated in my mind like a lotus flower.
What brought me out of my thoughts was the chat window that rang again.
[SpoiledMe: So what should I do?ã… ã… ã… We broke up in that situation.]
Now the story had returned to the original point.
From being in a position to listen to her inner thoughts, now I was in a position to listen to her worries.
At first glance, it might seem similar, but the topics were clearly different.
[SpoiledMe: It's awkward, how do I meet him?ã… ã… No matter how drunk I was, I ran away. What must he be thinking?ã… ã… ]
Come to think of it, I hadn't seen Eunbyul Lee since then. Two days had passed since Monday.
I wondered why, but it was because she was avoiding the meeting herself.
For a moment, I put myself in Eunbyeol's shoes.
At the point where the mood was heating up... from a woman's perspective who was about to give her body, if I ran away.
What would the woman think?
'She would be dumbfounded, damn it.'
The answer came quickly.
She might think that maybe I don't have any sexual desire, or that I'm not attractive.
Also, nonsense like 'I thought your body was precious...' wouldn't work in this situation.
If I had really thought that, I would have quietly refused on the spot. Not run away.
That's what I thought briefly, but in reality, Eunbyeol, who ran away, would have many thoughts.
[SpoiledMe: What should I do? ã… ã… ]
"Hmm..."
After thinking for a moment, I replied to her like this.
[hala: Just apologize.]
Giving an answer like 'The other person might understand, right?' without a proper solution was a bad idea.
It was better to give a proper answer.
And it was better for me to resolve the relationship that way.
[SpoiledMe: Apologize? But how do I apologize?]
[hala: You said you were very drunk then, right? Use that as an excuse to apologize. Say that you were so drunk that you don't remember well. But you clearly think you made a mistake. Anyway, you're sorry.]
[SpoiledMe: ...Will that work?]
Well.
Originally, it wouldn't work.
An apology without even knowing your own mistake wouldn't be accepted.
But I was going to accept it. I had already thought of how to accept it.
I had even thought of a pretty good answer.
A way to not dig up the other person's mistake and make that day's event as if it never happened.
A way to make it a secret known only to us.
"Ha, I'm really kind, so I'll accept it."
Muttering like that, I sent a reply to the other person again.
[hala: It will work. It will work, so just trust me once and try apologizing.]
[SpoiledMe: Hmm... Alright. Since you're saying that... and I didn't have any other options anyway.]
Fortunately, it seemed she was listening to me.
[SpoiledMe: It's late today... I'll go meet him directly tomorrow and talk. Thank you for listening to me until late at night.]
[SpoiledMe: Then, I'll go now.]
She left with that final greeting and disappeared. It seemed she was going to sleep now. Since it was already past 12, she needed to sleep for tomorrow.
'...Is she coming to apologize tomorrow?'
Looking at the last sent reply, I thought for a moment.
I found out a lot today.
How to treat her from now on.
Just thinking about it gave me a headache.
"I don't know, I'll think about it later."
After thinking for a moment, I just lay down on the mattress.
Thinking about it now would only complicate my mind.
And it was too late.
The clock had already passed 12 and was pointing to 3 a.m.
Time flew by as I listened to her endlessly.
For tomorrow's sake, I needed to sleep now.
'As for Eunbyeol...'
I'll think about it tomorrow.
But one thing was clear.
I had gained a card to seduce her.
Translated by ReversalNovel.web.id
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