Chapter 21 : Still
What is a picture?
There could be various opinions on this. The question itself is simple yet very comprehensive, so different answers can emerge depending on the perspective.
An art critic might simply answer "art," while a visual designer might say it's a tool that easily decorates the streets.
Or, for ordinary people who enjoy suggestive images, it might simply be answered as "something that turns them on."
As the question is comprehensive, it's clear that various answers will emerge.
In my case, I wanted to say it's a tool for visualizing imagination.
It realizes in two dimensions what others have thought and desired.
The few curves I drew soon became a woman's arm, and the colors I applied in a single shade became human skin.
Every time my hand moved, life was breathed into the background and the characters.
It was quite enjoyable to see the things I had imagined being visualized.
That's why I liked this job. Sometimes it felt like I became the creator of a small world, and it was delightful to see other people's reactions to my work.
This must be why I couldn't give up drawing even after failing my entrance exams.
This hadn't changed even as I was drawing suggestive images.
"Nice."
I smiled as I looked at the various reactions on my phone.
It had already been five days since I received a request from 'Glumyeogneona.'
During that time, I had shown the commissioned drawings to the other party and even posted them on Pixiv.
Fortunately, the response was good this time as well.
First, there was a reaction from 'Glumyeogneona.' It was a conversation we had roughly two days ago.
[Glumyeogneona: Wow, amazing.]
First of all, it was the reaction of 'Glumyeogneona.' It was a record of a conversation we had about two days ago.
[Glumyeogneona: I had expectations, but you really draw well.]
[Glumyeogneona: 50,000 won for this? It's almost like a bargain.]
The other person seemed to know the general commission market prices well, as they had occasionally commissioned others besides me.
She praised my drawings, saying the quality was excellent for the price.
[Glumyeogneona: My uterus is throbbing.]
[Glumyeogneona: I think I can get off five times with this, haha.]
I wish she wouldn't necessarily report her masturbation to me, but... well, since she said she was satisfied, it definitely felt good.
The response on Pixiv was also good.
[Wow...]
[Yeah, just draw like this, haha.]
[Look at that guy's thing twitching, wow.]
Fortunately, it seemed my strategy worked. If I drew a two-shot appropriately and expressed the situation as exciting enough, they would show favor regardless of whether a woman was included in the picture or not.
Recently, the number of followers had been increasing little by little, and the views were also increasing, so I couldn't help but be happy.
Of course, it wasn't that there was no division in preferences.
[Hmm, but can't you reduce the amount of the girl? It's a bit burdensome...]
[No need to draw female characters, just draw that guy ejaculating, haha.]
[The author is a lesbian, so it's impossible. She can't draw men because she finds them disgusting.]
[The author is a gore maniac, haha. If you look at the first post, she definitely tried to cut off that guy's thing.]
Just as ten thousand people see ten thousand different seas, one piece of work is bound to have various reviews.
Fortunately, the two people who had commissioned me so far understood my drawings, but there were also people who expressed their dislike because a girl who wasn't particularly exciting occupied half of the picture.
Some 'women' didn't particularly dislike the female body itself, but they didn't like the fact that it took up so much space.
But this was an unavoidable problem.
'You can't satisfy everyone.'
It was time to choose and focus. Since the people who would see it would see it anyway, there was no need to aim for other consumers while wearing down my mental strength.
So, I decided to keep going in this direction and turned off Pixiv.
Then, a sudden sense of emptiness rushed in.
Normally, I would have had a happy time as a reward for finishing all the work.
Since Hitomi and Pixiv turned into Gay Heaven, I hadn't had a proper happy time.
Even if I searched through adult sites and AV, most of the videos focused on men... Trying to get off with these only made me feel more depressed.
As a result, I was now in a state of sexual frustration.
Every time I zoned out, my precious one would scream for attention, and it was quite troublesome.
I didn't have any proper material to jerk off to, but my desires kept building up.
For a moment, I even thought about getting off to my own work, but unfortunately, I wasn't the type to get turned on by my own drawings.
Before I could get turned on by my own drawings, I would first find parts of the artwork that I didn't like while drawing.
Sometimes the arm I drew looked a bit long, and sometimes the positions of the two eyes seemed slightly misaligned.
At times like these, I would want to scrap all the drawings I had done and start over. Even if the differences were subtle enough for others not to notice... Anyway, that's how I felt.
Because of this, it was difficult for me to relieve my desires with my own drawings.
Tears almost came to my eyes.
'Sniff!'
While I was satisfying others' desires, I couldn't relieve my own 'bad water.'
What kind of contradiction is this!
This was like a prostitute with sexual dysfunction. That's right, I was a cyber male prostitute with sexual dysfunction!
A cruel fate where I could relieve others' sexual desires but not my own!
Tears blurred my vision at the sad truth.
'I want to have sex too...'
Knock!
It was at that moment when I was briefly sinking into despair.
An alarm sound seeped into the gaps of my consciousness.
It was a messenger alarm. When I roughly checked my phone, I saw a message from 'R4pe Legalize '
Rape Legalization... No matter how many times I heard it, it was a vulgar nickname.
The content sent by the other person was simple.
[R4pe Legalize: Wow! Finally got my part-time job pay, haha.]
[R4pe Legalize: It's been a tough month.]
It seemed like the part-time job payment had finally come in.
We occasionally exchanged messages like this.
Originally, I didn't intend to, but after exchanging a few words about commissions, we quickly became close.
Perhaps because we had a common topic, we got along well, and it was perfect for killing time.
Of course, it felt a bit awkward when we first started talking, but after about a week, we had become quite comfortable with each other.
[R4pe Legalize: The money is coming in like it's being injected into me...]
[R4pe Legalize: Huh, it feels like I'm going to cum from a big dick...]
[R4pe Legalize: Ah, typo. It's a big amount, haha.]
[R4pe Legalize: But I do want to cum from a big dick, haha.]
...It seemed like we had become too comfortable.
'She wasn't like this before.'
When she first came to request a commission, she seemed a bit shy and cautious.
But after a week, the girl had become corrupted and was spewing obscene language. It felt like I had seen a pure child being tainted.
Well, she wasn't that pure to begin with since she came to request suggestive drawings.
"Anyway, anonymity is a kind of privilege."
Since we don't see each other's faces, we can say such things comfortably.
In any case, I replied to her message. A slight sense of expectation bubbled up inside me.
[hala: Oh, congratulations, haha.]
[hala: So, are you going to request another commission?]
The last time we talked, she said she would commission me again as soon as her part-time job payment came in. The reason she was notifying me via KakaoTalk was probably to request a commission.
As expected, my prediction hit the mark.
[R4pe Legalize: Ah, yes, haha.]
[R4pe Legalize: This time, I will request two at once.]
"Oh."
Moreover, it was two. A commission worth a whopping 100,000 won!
A exclamation of admiration naturally came out of my throat.
Perhaps because her part-time job payment had just come in, she was spending generously.
Of course, I nodded in agreement.
There was no reason to refuse.
I sent a clapping emoji and a bowing emoji at the same time via KakaoTalk.
It was my way of expressing gratitude.
After that, there was a brief request for a commission.
The other person told me the composition and situation they wanted, and I planned it in my head.
The work I was going to draw this time was a man and a woman going to a motel.
However, the other person's preference was reflected here as well, with the woman being half-forcibly dragged along.
It was a request to draw a scene where the man was forcibly taking the woman, whether through threats or intimidation.
The woman had a face half-filled with fear, and the man was delighted by it.
The man's hand was gripping her breast, and every time his fingers moved, the woman flinched.
However, the woman couldn't move due to the surrounding gazes and could only endure.
And at the end of the motel they arrived at, there was ruthless sex.
[R4pe Legalize: Wow, just imagining it is making me wet down there.]
As expected of her nickname, it was a quite lewd request. This person seemed to have a bit of a masochistic tendency.
I immediately agreed, saying I understood and that it was possible.
[R4pe Legalize: For the other one, um... Can I tell you later? I need to think about it too.]
[hala: Yes, of course~]
And she said she would think about the other one and tell me later. I readily agreed again.
Anyway, I needed some time to draw.
The important thing was that 100,000 won was directly deposited into my account. Thinking about my bank account with the digit '10' in the ten-thousands place made me endlessly happy.
[hala: Yes^^ Then I will contact you when the drawing is completed~]
[R4pe Legalize: Yes~ I will be waiting with anticipation, haha.]
After that, the conversation ended.
A request had come in, and money had come in as well.
Now, all I had to do was draw. But I was lost in thought as I looked at the disconnected chat window.
The subject of my thoughts was this.
"Hmm..."
What did 'Rape Legalization' look like? Even though her words were a bit vulgar, we got along well in conversation, and she seemed to be doing well in social life.
Suddenly, I became curious about the person behind the screen.
"Hmm..."
Of course, this wasn't a very productive thought. Anonymity exists to protect the person behind it, and if I didn't know who was behind the screen, I could end up wasting my time and getting into trouble.
But me right now?
I had been forced to abstain for almost a week, and as a result, my precious one was screaming for attention.
Currently, the one controlling my brain wasn't my rationality but my little head, and if I could just play with my little head, I was willing to endure a bit of trouble.
The words that came out of my little head, which had taken over my brain, were these.
"Should I meet her?"
Come to think of it, this was a world where genders were reversed, and I was quite handsome in this world.
This was proven by the two women I met in the elevator the other day. At that time, I didn't think much of it, but when I thought about it at home, I realized that their reaction was the shyness one feels when seeing the opposite sex.
Just like how I freeze for a moment when I see a pretty girl, or how my gaze naturally goes to a woman with a good figure.
They were people just like me, and so they had looked at me like that for a moment.
Anyway, for that reason, I thought it would be okay to meet. Maybe we could even have sex?
"No, but there's still a risk..."
For a moment, I continued to ponder in my mind.
Rationality and my little head were fighting in front of the phone in my mind.
A fierce battle was unfolding in my head between the side that wanted to meet with my eyes closed just once and the side that said there was no need for me to step forward and give up my anonymity.
Meeting in real life was indeed dangerous.
Especially someone with a job like mine needed to be careful with their face.
A suggestive artist was semi-illegal in South Korea, and once their identity was revealed, they could be in trouble. If the other person reported me, I would be off to the police.
Of course, 'Rape Legalization,' who even requested commissions from me, wouldn't do that, but...
I needed to be careful.
"Eh, but even a virtual meeting is too much."
In the end, the remaining shred of rationality won. Yeah, I didn't need to meet someone whose face I didn't even know.
Moreover, I had never even had a virtual meeting before.
This was a method that still needed to be put on hold.
"Hahaha, no matter what..."
I laughed emptily and pushed my phone away.
Even if my brain was half paralyzed by my precious one, there was no need to take risks just for my little head.
I would maintain the current relationship with 'R4pe Legalization.'
That was my current judgment.
A real-life meeting was the last resort.
A method to use when my brain was completely taken over by my little head, not just half.
So, it wasn't time to meet yet.
"Hahaha..."
Not yet, at least.
Translated by ReversalNovel.web.id
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